Many women wonder when it is alright to have sex again after having a baby. However, this time, the period might be different for every couple, depending on the mother’s health after delivery, the demands the baby is placing on her and also the relationship between the partners.
Some couples resume sex life within the first month, while others prefer to wait for a 40 day period so that the mother can heal completely.
Most new mothers prefer to ask their gynaecologist if they are ready for sex during the postnatal check-up, and this approach is a wise one. The doctor is best equipped to tell you if you have healed completely and whether you are ready for sex again.
For some women, this may take some time, especially for those who are in pain due to an episiotomy or have infected stitches that are taking longer to heal. Some mothers are simply too tired from all the responsibility and need more time, while others are reluctant to try sex because their perineal area feels bruised and sore and could be sensitive, especially those who have had a C-section.
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However, for some mums, the reluctance comes from the way they perceive their own body and feel self-conscious of stretch marks and other skin ailments that have changed their body. This can result in a low libido and all you need to really do is resolve these issues, discuss matters with your spouse and try to resume your sex life when you feel totally comfortable.
Tips That Can Help You Resume Your Sexual Relationship:
Here are some helpful tips for mums who are ready to have sex again, but want to be extra careful so as to make the experience a pleasant one.
- Try a lubricant, especially if you are sore and sensitive down there. This will also help with vaginal dryness and will ease penetration, letting you relax and enjoy.
- You don’t have to have full sexual penetration to enjoy time with your partner. If you are aroused but scared that intercourse will hurt you, it will be easier to have a delayed foreplay. Once you are totally comfortable with having sex, give your partner the green signal. However, remember that some men can be more enthusiastic about sex after such a long celibacy period, so you will need to discuss these matters before time and ensure that your partner is loving and understanding.
- If you have soreness, choose a comfortable sexual position that doesn’t exert undue pressure on the sensitive spots. You should try the woman on top position so that you can control the rate and force or penetration as per your comfort level.
- Do your pelvic floor exercises regularly to tone the muscles in your vagina so that sex is pleasurable for both you and your partner. If your body image is the issue, join a fitness class that helps you feel more confident about your body.
- If you are perpetually tired, try having sex while the baby naps so that you get some quality uninterrupted time with your partner.
Signs That Say You Need to Talk To Your Gynaecologist Again:
Some signs can tell you that you are not ready for sex, and all is not well with you. If you have a vaginal discharge that has an unpleasant odour, you could have an infection. See your doctor immediately to get treatment and to reduce
See your doctor immediately to get treatment and to reduce risk of passing the infection to your partner during sex. Some women continue to feel pain during sex even months after their delivery. This could be caused by broken stitches in episiotomy and could require more surgery, so don’t ignore the pain. Sex is not supposed to be painful after a baby, especially if you have crossed the
Some women continue to feel pain during sex even months after their delivery. This could be caused by broken stitches in episiotomy and could require more surgery, so don’t ignore the pain.
Sex is not supposed to be painful after a baby, especially if you have crossed the 40 day mark after your delivery. If your lochia or vaginal bleeding hasn’t stopped after 4 weeks post-delivery and you have pain, check with your doctor.
To ensure that your husband understands what you are going through, ask him to accompany you for the check-up. This way, your husband can ask the doctor all the questions that are on his mind and is in tune with needs. This gives you both a chance to work as a team to handle the situation and work towards rekindling your love life.
Important Tip: If you are not sure whether it is time to have sex again and are not too keen on talking to your doctor, talk to other new mums. Staying in touch with other women who are in the same boat as you, lets you talk about common issues and you might get some helpful suggestions from your friends while feeling more comfortable having a sexual discussion.
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