No Matter How Much You Diet, It Will Never Work

No Matter How Much You Diet, It Will Never Work

As a borderline ‘Google-r of everything’ (“what does dreaming of a swollen left toe mean?”) I completely understand the need to look up, and educate ourselves on a diet/lifestyle that we think will be the right fit for us – but here is what 26 years of (well, 6, ‘cause up until the age of 20, I didn’t really care, but 36 sounds more dramatic) trying new diets, cleanses and workouts has taught me well and clear, and that is no diet is going to work if you think too much about it and don’t work hard enough to stick to it.

I was a vegan last year for six months where I went the whole hog and eliminated leather, wool and even occasionally poking my dogs with little sticks for fun, in the name of compassion, and I loved it. I was calm and my skin looked great, and I ate really clean. But then I needed fish and well, I slipped quite magnificently and went back to eating meat.

This year, however, I started with a less ‘i need to do this’ and more of a ‘i think this will be really good for me’ attitude and went vegetarian instead. And thankfully, I found my balance. Don’t really miss seafood or chicken anymore because as it turns out, vegetarian meals can be delightfully satisfying as well!

The thing I’ve found out is you need to get your reason right. Why do you want to go vegetarian/vegan/paleo/pescetarian, etc? Do you think it’ll make you fitter? Are you going to be able to do a new attempt at a lifestyle justice? And more importantly, are you going to be happy with your new diet?

The number of articles I read online about how veganism is bad for you or how meat eaters are doomed to the inevitability of an early death really baffles me. Why have we all forgotten how clever and ingenious our bodies are?

It’s an entire mechanism that is highly evolved (more than you will ever be anyway, filthy muggle) and will adapt to any lifestyle you offer it provided you give it it’s nutrition! Going vegan? Eat your nuts and get your omega 3’s! Going paleo? Focus on some vitamins as well.Going vegetarian? Nutella is not a legitimate snack option! (note to self.) The general idea is to eat what makes you happy to be sitting at the table at meal times and to relish your food!

So, don’t exhaust yourself (and your laptop charge) on trying to figure out if a diet is good for you because if you really want to follow it through in an educated, informed way, you will make it work by starting with just the basic first steps and gathering your ‘intermediate and expert info on the job’.

Weather on a paleo diet or vegan, learn to enjoy your food and rest will take care of itself.

I could offer you workout tips but you know, your diet is seventy percent of your workout and this article isn’t about helping you look good because if you all are reading this then it’s safe to assume you all are pretty cute anyway. Like attracts like and all that? This article is about finding peace in your choices and giving it your best.

Let this also be my personal note to all vegans/ vegetarians who judge meat eaters around them and meat eaters who badger every vegetarian they encounter with gems like “where do you get your protein from” because again, no one likes having to explain their choices (over and over and over again). And + it makes you seem stupid.

Be cool, bake cakes out of rainbows, and be fetch – (i just made that happen.)

ps- if you got that reference, you’re legit and I like you already.


  1. ouidepuis1

    I totally agree! I just recently figured this out for myself, but it is always good to have it confirmed. I discover I don’t take well to dairy products, but man does Nutella ever sound like a good snack option! Actually, the only real issue I have with this is saying no to cheese. Man do I love cheese. In the end though I do feel better if I don’t eat it. And that is what matters to me.


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